Journeying back in the starry space of memories has always been a pleasant experience for me. All sort of incidents - sad or sweet, long or brief, fun or torment, pride or embarrassment – when turn into memories, become treasured gems that you look upon and feel so content having them. Memories never let liveliness of the moment die away. Although you can’t remember the form of those incidents, the feel in it always remains the same. Memories make me laugh, they feel me with joy. Memories make me cry, they drown me in the somber shadow of disappointments. Memories make me go crazy, feel stupid. Nevertheless each one of them is equally precious and relished.
Often, my memories are like abstracts of essays that I have lived through. I never get a clip of events running before my eyes as exactly as had happened but I get a feel as exactly as I had felt then. Imagine not knowing what equation you are solving and getting the responses correct. That feel is a kind of such response, full of surprise and apprehension and yet joyous. The process of formation is too intrinsic and intertwined to make out separately. I have, quite a few times, found myself digging into that process of formation and ultimately landing up in a realization of its grandeur.
For me birth of a memory is as grand as birth of some star. It starts at a knock of some perturbation on the door of mind- space of your perceptions and emotions. No matter how small, it brings some kind of excitement to your mind, brings some deviation from state of equilibrium. It is like you are going through your planned routine so well, you are happy with all the balance you have achieved in your life, and suddenly out of thin air a wave reaches you and takes you to the higher energy state. It leaves you there to tackle with all the energy it has passed on to you, on your own. You are all in splintered chunks of thoughts. Gravity of mind tries to bring them, bind them together, fighting the ferocious energy within, roaring to break free. You are left with no doubt that you would hardly survive this fierce tussle of forces.
But knowing that the very existence of it is at stake gravity of mind hauls hard and takes itself to the point of balance where it can sustain all the energy it has been bestowed with. Thus you are back to your all-in-control position and there is a new memory star born that shines bright lifelong. It seems almost magical that all the energy that has been threatening its existence a moment ago gets transformed into its strength at the end.
This analogy may sound silly and unnecessarily elaborate, like some fairy tale or fantasy and yet the story is extremely realistic in both the contexts. Nevertheless, whatever equations pertain, a star hardly fails the process of coming to existence and shining right there piercing all the darkness around.
5 comments:
Amazing analogy !! Never thought about it that way, but then read through what you have written and felt every bit of sense in it...Very good post! I guess memories define the course of our future life as well. It's like training our mind and storing the parameters of that training set in the mind. We experience certain patterns and note their results or consequences and take future decisions based on those experiences. And yes, as you said, everyone likes going back to their memories and staying in that space every now and then..
Keep writing :)
a good post :) the feelings of mind when experiencing the memories is put in very apt words!the analysis is a bit overdone, but all in all a good post. your writing skills are really good. keep writing and keep exploring :)
Yeah! When a moment is about to pass from reality to memory, there is often a subtle struggle... And sometimes, when the moment is precious, the struggle can be pretty hard. The analogy is perfect! Now I know why I sometimes stop, look around, inhale deeply and smile! I generally do this when I'm very happy or pleased with something, and I want the moment to be permanently registered in my memory!
nice perspective...
great writing! memories are precious more so coz they are the left-behind wisps of moments gone by! they are all you have left and as Suneel says, letting a precious experience slip into memory space is a terrible struggle, yet it must happen or we shall constantly be torn between living in the past and the present...
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